Cheeze Whiz and Mustard

Ok, that title may be a little deceiving. Sacha cannot read actual words, per se. What he can do, however, is pick out, with his keen observational skills and his ridiculous omniscience, a variety of logos and locate every object in the house (or city) that has the same logo, even if Col. Mustard or I have never noticed these before.

I present to you The Dictionary of Sacha-ese.  Please note that these items are not in any sort of alphabetical order, nor order of importance in his mind.

This one means “Bob the Builder” and “Thomas the Tank Engine”.

This one is fairly obvious, right?

This one means “the place where we go to get Thomas videos, and MUST continue to obtain Thomas videos at every possible occasion.”

This one means “eating, timbits, coffee, Mmmm.”

This one means “the place where we buy bananas.”  Yes, they sell bananas, but they also have very narrow aisles and really cramped self-bagging quarters, which are not to my liking.  But we buy bananas there.

This one means “Maman and Sacha’s car.” Not to be confused with Daddy’s car, which is a Kia Rio.  Not that there is anything wrong with Kias.  But I love my Prius.  Sacha loves his Prius.  He points to it and declares that it is HIS car.  I then remind him that it is OUR car.  I don’t think he buys it.

This one means “the place where we go buy toilet paper.” I have no idea why he thinks we buy toilet paper at A&P. I don’t even really like shopping there, since their shelves are poorly stocked and the prices aren’t that great. Although, on second thought, this association may be due to the fact that he saw me use a plastic A&P bag as a garbage bag in our bathroom.  And the garbage is located beneath the toilet paper roll.

This one means “the place where Maman bought her new vacuum.”  Which apparently only Maman uses.  Not to be confused with Daddy ever vacuuming.  Or cleaning in general.  In Sacha’s eyes, only Maman cleans.  Not only that, it is what I spend most of my day doing.  Except when I am on the toilet: while on a little shopping trip to Home Depot with his Daddy, Sacha pointed to every toilet and declared “Mama!”.  But that’s a whole other issue I may have to take up with him at a later date.

This one means “everything in our bathroom, especially cough drops and generic antacids which Maman must consume every day.”

This one means “vacuum, fridge, waffle maker, blender, play kitchen, and hot sauce.”  Not too sure how the hot sauce has come to be labeled as Kenmore, but then again, I do NOT spend all of my time vacuuming or on the toilet. Seriously, I don’t.  Ask my husband.  Wait, don’t.

Aren’t you impressed? I know I am.